arvTales

iTunes: Matt Dusk, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Went home pretty early. I just didn't feel like 100% today. Got home, did chores, fell asleep watching Peter Mansbridge. Woke up and got online to write.

It wasn't a particularly exciting night. Oh, I got a brand-spanking new notebook to write on. An unspoiled piece of paper I can fill with ideas.

Ah, and I started storyboarding my presentation. It Is Going To Be OSM.

What can I say? Christmas songs have been playing in my mental jukebox all day long. I finally succumbed to it all and downloaded Christmas songs into iTunes. In fact, right now I'm listening to Mariah's rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

You better watch out, you better not cry.

And I can't wait till Bublé's version of Let It Snow. I have loved that song ever since I got it last month. Yes, last month. I've been preparing for Christmas for 2 months now.

Ah... It's playing. LET IT SNOW! Michael is great. But I think I just found someone better: Matt Dusk. I highly recommend his Christmas CD. He's got a more "traditional" jazz voice, if there is such a thing.

I'm going back to my carolling now.

Though the weather outside is frightful...

This is my 90th entry. From now till 100 we will be counting down.

This is me getting philosophical. No humour to be found here at all. So shoo, go away.

What do you do when you have a problem you can't possibly solve?

"Sometimes when you do nothing at all things have a way of fixing themselves."

It's the head-in-the-sand approach. Yes and no. Most things do have a way of fixing themselves. It's deciding which problems people bring to you are true problems and which problems are just people trying to sort things out, or just people complaining. Most times people are just complaining. This is why people suck so much.

Deciding which ones need a fix is where the true talent lies. People with that gift tend to standout.

Why am I writing about this? I don't really know. It came to me while watching the Grey Cup. Eskimos rock. JR owes me a Big Mac meal! Thank you, Ricky Jay!

---
"Amazing is sort of a strong word. I just show up and let the Lord work through me."

Say that 10 times fast.

I got that line from one of the funniest sites in the world: Google Video. Here's a clip. And another. Last one. Nope, I lied. And I keep lying. Oops, I keep doing it.

Google Video: my new time-waster.

Time to upload my home movies. This shit is so funny!

It's the 27th already?!? Eff that ess.

One, two, three, four, five, six... wait... I've already written 22 entries and published 18 or so. Damn. So much for writing everyday. Welps, that's it, I give up, etc.

That wasn't as funny as I initially thought. Eff that ess.

Right, okay...

What to write about?

Went to lunch with pamilya. Wanted to go to Milestones for dinner today but there was a Leafs/Habs game and it was part of the triple header. So eff that ess. Did manage to pick up a wireless mic. Woo hoo! Points!

Was supposed to see friends but really wasn't in the catching up kinda mood. So eff that ess. So I stayed home, worked on some images and docs for D & S, caught up on some video game playing and felt my brain atrophy. It was fun.

Supposed to do some work tomorrow. Eff that ess.

Last night I fell asleep with the laptop on my, well, lap. That's not good. That's not good at all. Woke up five minutes later, so it's not like I slept the entire night with it on my lap. I ain't that weird.

Watch me switch topics like an expert.

I'm halfway through How to Become a CEO. I'm bored. Why must it be so hard to become a CEO? I think I'll aim for Executive Vice President. No, no. Junior Executive Vice President.

Days like today make me glad I TTC it. I can read or sleep while drivers spend 2 hours getting home while wasting 85 cent-a-litre gas. Nuts to you all!

"I dislike secrets, especially ones I don't know." Love that quotation from Stargate SG-1. Turning out to be a good season. Religiousity as evil. False gods. Interesting POV if not cliché

Missed Thanksgiving day football. Nuts. Heard the Cowboys and Lions game was awesome. We definitely need a telly in the West Wing. Amy, can you write a PO for approval? I want a Wega.

Did I ever tell you how much I adore snow? I love the white stuff. Some people hate it. Others hate it with a passion. Me? I open my mouth, stick my tongue out and enjoy. Unless it's windy, which it was today. I didn't do that. What? Do I look like an idiot?

Didn't get to say goodnight to Reece last night. I'm getting lax in my goodnights. That's not good. That's not good at all.

I am so the SME on Topic Switching.

With the Big Move done and over with, everyone is settling into their grooves. I myself had the chance to organize and prioritize the miriad files on my desk. Suffice it to say the wing's "confidential bucket" (the recycling bin where to-be-shredded documents go to die) is full.

I have gotten used to the quiet in the wing. When no one is on the phone, it's like heaven. I get work done faster, it seems. The quiet speeds up time to the point that a day at the offices seems like a vacation.

I'm sure it's not like that for everyone. Or is it? No, it really isn't.

Remember: Grooves can take a while to settle. It's like building that nice little butt-groove on your couch. It takes months to get it just right.

---
I'm watching Simpsons so here's a quotation "Wow, my subconscious is a genius."

I miss you. It feels so empty now.

Do you know how much I miss those laughs coming out from nowhere?

I miss the puppies, the countless puppies.

I used to be able to look over my shoulder and see your smiling face.

Gorammit, Harm, I tried to make this sound like some sort of love letter but it's gorram hard especially since I was trying to avoid any mention of your name or anything to do with work. Apparently I'm not that good a writer.

Maybe it's just too late at night to be writing romantic-sounding blogs. I can wax romantic with the rest of them.

But I do miss the puppies. I hope they visit me often.

AR: "Everyone who's taken over the What's On has gotten fired."

Great observation. Here's another one: All associates who have ever worked with TB has gotten fired. That's three associates in the last 9 months; an average of three months per tour of duty.

Food for thought.

Three minutes ago I was content on going to bed. But that did not happen.

It's become a habit of mine to blog late sunday evening/early monday morning.

Let's see... what happened today... I had just gotten out of Winners with a nice pair of replacement pants for the one I demolished the other day when a thought hit me upside the head so quickly I'm still reeling from whiplash. I was supposed to pick up Richard and Remy, Raimey, Raime... Richard's new kid's pressie! Shit. I completely forgot! So I sent JR scurrying to find the nearest Body Shop/Fruits and Passion. He went looking as I haggled with the manager at Japan Camera for a nice price for a brand new tripod. He didn't budge so I left to look for the pressie. We power walked into Body Shop.

"Hi, can I help you today?" enquired the nice sales girl as we, two handsome looking males, entered the serenely scented store. We were out of place, us two handsome looking males.

"Yes, I'm looking for a gift basket for, umm, stuff for, umm, a male, umm, hmmm, effeminate, umm, guys stuff," I replied confidently and with absolutely no hesitation. "The guy I'm looking for likes stuff, like, um, he's um."

"Body Shop-ish?"

"Yeah, exactly!"

"Oh, sure, if you could follow me," she said without a beat. "We have a selection of baskets," she pointed at the well stocked shelf.

"I'm looking for something under twenty five dollars."

"Let's see. We have a selection..." She trailed off. More accurately, my attention span wavered. There was too much bath, spa, perfumy things in an astounding assortment of colours. My senses were assailed.

"Do you have baby stuff?"

"No, unfortunately we don't carry them anymore." My heart sank. In my mind I thought, well, I ain't gonna split the bill when I don't have to. I started thinking, "NEXT!" but I humoured her. She led me to the back of the store to show me some more baskets. Most of the items were way over my budget and I didn't think Amy or Harm would appreciate it if I went over. I know Bill wouldn't. So I said, "Thanks so much for all the help. I think I'll go shop around the mall some more."

Outside JR proceeded to tell me how he played and smelled all the perfume and cologne. They had hemp scented perfume. I found that quite intriguing. Must smell it for myself the next time I stop by.

Fruits and Passion. This time I went straight into the store, smiled at the sales girl, and did not say a word. I was gonna look and smell first when I heard, "Do you guys need any help?" Two handsome looking guys lost in a smelly store attracts attention.

"Yeah, sure. Do you happen to have anything for babies?"

"Yes. If you could follow me, it's at the back."

Well, well. Twice in one day two attractive looking women wanted to take me out back.

She bent down (oh la la) and opened the locked shelf. (Dear Reader: get your head out of the gutter).

"We keep the baby stuff down here 'cause we're running out of shelf space," she politely explained. "We have sampoo, honey milk, bath soap," she explained as she pulled the items from the shelf.

"How much are they? I've got a budget of about twenty five dollars."

"Well, you could get this this and this for such and such." I don't remember the exact prices. Suffice it to say, it's all in the receipt. The baby stuff ended up costing more than the budget allowed. Great job, Arvin.

"I'll take the soap and the shampoo," I proclaimed triumphantly. She grabbed the items, got up, and headed towards the cash register. "I'm also looking for men's stuff. Do you have gift baskets for men?"

"Oh, sure. Come follow me, big boy." Okay, I added those last two words. She placed the shampoo and soap on the counter on the way to the front.

She showed me Human, and some other brands that I cannot recall at the moment. They smelled terrific though. One was strong, which Richard would love, and another was very subtle. I liked them both. However, I made the decision of buying the Human bath shampoo. It was cheap and I like Human. It's got a great subtle bamboo fragrance and goes on smooth. It makes your skin feel soft. I use it from time to time. I got a couple of bottles free when I bought a present for my aunts a few months ago.

"I think I'll go with what I like. I'll grab the Human," I informed her confidently.

She rang up the sale and it was... $51.18. Great. Over budget. Amy and Harmony will understand.

Other Sales Girl Behind the Counter looked at me funny. I don't know why. "Are these gifts?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Together?"

"Nope. These two go together and this one is separate." She wrapped them up.

Sales Associate number one (I should really ask for names more often) put the individually bagged pressies into a larger bag and proceeded to the front of the cash to personally hand me my purchase. She was so nice and helpful.

So what was JR doing this whole time? Spraying his whole body with fruity crap. His hair, coat, and room smells like Fruits and Passion now.

*Sniff* So does my hand. And I've washed it several times since then. Oh, wait. I used Human tonight. That's why I smell like that.

Sherwin asked if I wanted a bay card... or something that sounded like that. HBC card or something.

He thought he'd made a sale.

He was wrong.

Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

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"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof. "Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer blessing woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den - O bore!"

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"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull, "Wood bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"

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"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomolous prognosis!"

"Battered small your whiff," insert a woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mousy gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

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Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

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Wan moaning, Center Alley herder heft-cisterns tucking a boarder bag boil debtor prance worse garner gift toiler pimple inner lend.

"O stop-murder," crater ladle gull, "Water swill cerebration debt boil's garner bayl Are sordidly ward lacquer goiter debt boill"

"Shed dope, Center Alley," inserter curl stop-murder, "Yore tucking lichen end-bustlel Yore nutty goring tore debt boil--armor goring tutor boil wet yore toe heft-cisterns. Yore garner stair rat hair, an kipper horsing ardor an washer pods an pens Gore tutor boil? Hoar, hoar Locket yore close--nosing bought racksi"

Soda wicket stop-murder any toe ogling cisterns pot honor expansive closing, an stuttered oft tutor boil, living pore Center Alley setting buyer far inner racket closing, wit tares strumming darner chicks.

Soddenly, Center Alley nudist debt annulled worming hat entity rum, an worse setting buyer site. Disk oiled worming worry furry gourd-murder.

"Center Alley, Center Alley," whiskered dole worming, "watcher crane aboard? Ditcher wander goiter debt boil? Hoe-cake, jest goiter yore gardening an pickle bag pomp-can; den goiter yore staple an gutter bag rattletrap witch contends sex anomalous ratch. Wail, watcher wading fur? Gat goringl"

Center Alley garter pomp-can any sex bag ratch. Inner flesh, dole worming chintz door pomp-can intern anomalous, gorges, courage. Dingy chintz door sex beg ratch enter sex wide hearses. Oil offer sodden, Center Alley real-iced dashy worse warring putty an expansive closing--sulk an sadden--an honor ladle fate war toe putty ladle gloss slobbers.

Center Alley, harpy acid lurk, clammed entity gorges courage, any sex wide hearses gobbled aware tutor prance's boil.

"0 borel" crater prance, whinny sore Center Alley, "Hoes disk putty ladle checking wetter gloss slobbers?" any win ope toe Center Alley an aster furry dense, den fur servile udders. Door prance dint wander dense wet dodder gulls--jest wet Center Alley.

Pimple whiskered, "Jest locket debt gnats-lurking cobbler Door prance sordidly enter-stance harder peck gut-lurking worming!"

Ladle Center Alley worse door bail offer boil.

Door wicket stop-murder any toe ogling cisterns wore trampling wet anchor an forestation.

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Den, lipping honors hearse, door prance gobbled aware.

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"Arch, archi Ticket oftI" shorted door stop-murder, "Wart inhale yore during, Prance? Debt slobber's toe ladle furry hormone bang{ Ticket oftl"

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Door abdominal stop-murder any toe wicket heft-cisterns bust art luffing.

"Hoar, hoar, hoar Debt's jest Center Alley. Yore wooden wander half suture discussing parson furry waifi Lock attar hens and phase--oil cupboard wet dart Locket doze close--nosing bought racksi"

"Jester seam," resplendent door prance, gadding impassioned, "arm garner traitor pot disk slobber honor ladle fort. Comb hair, Center Alley."

Wail, bores and gulls, badger canned gas wart hop-pingi Center Alley tickle ladle slobber an potted earn. Den, oil offer sodden, door prance potters alms rounder ladle gull an caster-rat honor mousel

Fur lung, wadding balls war wrangling, an Center Alley winter wear firmer wicket stop-murder's horse, an calm door mattress offer prance's gorges mention. Center Alley worse jest knots aboard disk hansom horse-barn, an lift, yonder daze harpy sorghum-stenches, furry lung, lung, tam.

MURAL: Ladle gulls shunt bay disgorged; warts garner hoppings garner hopping.

cute girl on subway to my left standing, facing window
long umbrella fell on my crotch
umbrella owner did not apologize
pretended to sleep
bitch

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Every year on this day, while we sing praises for those men and women that returned and those that did not, I focus and think.

Specifically, I think about those guys and girls whose names we will never know. The unknown soldiers. I think about their stories. Who they were, what they did in the war, how they died. I think about how we can never know.

People's stories are forever lost. Not just soldiers, but everyone that ever dies. Human life can seem so fragile. We strive for individuality but we all die in the end. Even people who are revered by history, remembered for their deeds, even they aren't really remembered. History writes its own story, the truth be damned. We can read about Einstein, Plato, Helen of Troy, The Beatles. What history notes about them isn't who they really are. History remembers their accomplishments but never the person. They are just names. We never know who they are, just what they did.

I want to know.

"Nothing is more elastic than the ethical permutations of job applicants."

This was on today's National Post. Elegant quotation that reminds us in the industry that candidates lie. They lie through their teeth on applications, their CVs, on the phone, and in their interviews. They lie lie lie.

Focusing the idea on the search industry, the quotation has more meaning and truthiness (Yes, that's a word. Thanks Colbert Report). Candidates fall off at an alarming rate. They leave without so much as a telephone call. They abandon their jobs. They call in sick after their first they and they never return. They switch companies at the drop of a hat, or more accurately, at the sound of more coin.

And that's just how it is. You can pretend you know how to read people but even after years in the business you really can't tell who's gonna stay and who's not. Our oldest employee, not counting Bill and those that transferred from sister companies, also has the most fall offs.

Experience is a great teacher but the ethical permutations of job applicants are far too much for one person to experience in a lifetime.

Everyone looked so down today. The weather really does affect our mood.

I tried to smile. My smile can be infectious, viral even. Did not work. The guy across from me just give me an inquisitive look. Heck, I tried. Bums.

Telly: The National on CBC
iTunes: When a Man Loves a Woman, by Percy Sledge

I caught part of Stroumboulopoulos' show today. It was all here'swhathappenedtodayincanadaandtheworld. Bob Woodward is right, the news media today is too rushed. There is very little time for serious contemplation. Used to be, you thought about what happened instead of watching it and moving on. That's why I still prefer the paper over television news. Still hate how the newsprint gets on my fingers though. However I am finding that, in the past few months, I too have been feeling rushed. I skim through through headlines and articles, catching the gist of the story then moving on to the next. Heck, I even skim through the funnies. Especially on Adam @ Home. That strip is so not funny. What is that guy thinking? Puns are not funny! Geez.

I feel like I don't have time.

Well sir, I am going to make time! I will heed Carl Honore's warning and take things slowly. Especially now. I'm getting the sniffles. Taking things slowly will, hopefully, make me better faster.

I think I got Harm obsessed with winning and Xbox360. I wish you all the luck, girl.

Achoo!

I can't believe that they're famous! These two little girls from California spread white supremacy. Now, I don't even want to write their names 'cause it's just free publicity. Suffice it to say, they're 9 year old twins who just happen to be nazis and they're spreading their word through song and dance.

Wow. I still can't believe it.

This happened a few weeks ago so my memory is a bit hazy.

Mom told me she found an extra bank account under her name. Fantastic, I thought. I told her to call the bank to find out what's going on. Then an idea hit me. Withdraw the money that's in the account, then call the bank.

Being worried about identity theft, I went through my records to see if I had transferred money to the right account. I remembered I also transferred some cash to my brother's new account. Then I asked her if it was my brother's account that she was looking at. Turns out it was.

We were about to withdraw and split my brother's money. Well, it's not like he uses it anyway. I mean, it's just sitting in his account accumulating pennies. Really, I'm not trying to justify the fact that we were about to steal from an unknown account. Never. I would never do that. Almost never.

Did some drinking Friday after work with a few colleagues. It was a bad day. I think we all needed a pint or two; I know I did.

The sadness was blunted by a romantic first date.

I wonder if Frank ever came. If he did he must've felt stood up. Tsk tsk tsk. We should've convinced KB to stay.

I'm laughing so hard just thinking about it.

*Sigh*

The weekend... Picked up a few presents for Christmas. All toys for the little ones. I am developing a theme for my little god-daughter. Last Christmas I sent her Mickey. Then on her birthday I gave her Minnie. This Christmas she's getting Pluto. Doesn't he look cute? On her next birthday she'll most likely be getting Donald. She'll have a nice little collection by the time she's 10.

You know what's great? I can't remember how old she is right now. That's just great.

When I walked into the bedroom, paper in hand, I searched for the funnies. "H6," it said. I promptly read the funnies, leaving Calvin and Hobbes last 'cause it's my favourite. (hint hint wink wink for whoever gets my name for Secret Santa). The week's story-line involved Tracer Bullet, another personal favourite.

Why the funnies first? I once read a study which concluded that people who read the funnies first live longer lives. But that's not really why I read it first. And this is a tangent.

Then I turned the page, not really reading. An ad for a trip to Vegas caught my eye only because Harm was talking about taking a trip to Los Cabos. I thought, hey I could use a vacation from Toronto. I read it. Then I thought, I sure am seeing a lot of travel ads in this paper. Then I looked at the front. It said: "Travel."

Telly: Daily Show with Jon Stewart
iTunes: Don't You Think, by Natalie Imbruglia

Went to a birthday. Ate. That's pretty much all I did after work today.

---
I'm watching Jon Stewart and laughing my ass off. Man, I can not wait till Colbert Report comes to Canada next week. I completely recommend watching clips of his show on Comedy Central, especially his segment entitled "The Word." Today Jon has Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes. Last week Colbert had Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes. I see a pattern. Methinks CBS is starting to wise up 'cause they're actually trying to reach a wider audience, mainly the young 18-35 yr old base that The Daily Show attracts. Finally.

Okay, so I'm feeling overwhelmed again. I'm looking at my schedule for tomorrow and it looks like I have 2 half hours of unscheduled time. So, basically, I'm booked for the day. That's the typical day for me, with every hour accounted for, scheduled for something.

I just filled up those 2 half hours. Now I have no break, according to my calendar. Funderful. Heh.

Gotta say though, I loves me schedules, even if I don't follow them 'cause something always comes up. I love multi-tasking. Which reminds me of something that happened Tuesday morning.

I had just gotten into work, early this time, and as I picked up the phone to answer Clarissa, I overheard Harmony ask the room who "HE" was. In mid-sentence, as I was answering Clarissa's question, I replied "Herbert." I didn't even think about it. I just did it. Then I hear Harm say something like "he's on the phone and still manages to hear and answer questions." Brad agrees "yeah, I was about to say..." That made me feel kinda good. I don't know why, but it did. Oh, right! All this while I was checking email and checking out my schedule for the day. I don't think they saw that.

---
Moment of Zen: a graphic saying "The Senate session is closed" or something to that effect. Hmm. The Senate has a closed door session. Hmm. Senate Orgy? That's what Jon said the other night. I think they're all blaming each other for the Iraq war. I wonder what's going on inside those locked doors.